You’re sitting there in your pajamas, maybe a little bit of cereal still stuck to your chin, and then the notification pops up. A friend or a boss pings you: "Hey, can you call me on video?" Your stomach drops. It’s a visceral reaction that almost everyone in the digital age understands, yet we keep doing it. We keep clicking that little camera icon even though half of us feel like we’re being interrogated by a bright light and a blurry version of our own face.
It’s weird.
We’ve had the tech for decades. Picturephone debuted at the 1964 World's Fair, but it flopped because nobody wanted to be seen in their living room looking like a mess. Fast forward to now, and we have 5G, 4K webcams, and software that can replace your messy kitchen with a sleek Scandinavian office. Yet, the social anxiety remains. Honestly, the phrase "call me on video" has become the modern equivalent of "we need to talk." It carries a weight that a standard voice call just doesn't have.
The Psychological Tax of the Video Call
Why does it feel so draining? Stanford University researcher Jeremy Bailenson coined the term "Zoom Fatigue," and his findings are pretty eye-opening. When you’re in a face-to-face meeting, you aren't staring at a mirror the whole time. But when you call me on video, I’m constantly looking at my own reflection in that tiny box in the corner. It’s taxing. You’re essentially performing for yourself while trying to listen to someone else. Imagine walking around with a mirror held six inches from your face all day. You’d go crazy.
Non-verbal cues are also totally broken. In person, a slight nod or a shift in weight means something. On a video call, there’s a micro-delay—often around 150 to 500 milliseconds—that messes with our brains. It’s just long enough for our subconscious to perceive the other person as being "off" or "unfriendly," even if they’re just dealing with a laggy router.
Then there’s the eye contact problem. To look like you’re making eye contact, you have to look at the lens. But to actually see the person, you have to look at the screen. You can’t do both. It’s a physical impossibility that creates a permanent sense of disconnection. We are literally looking past each other while trying to look at each other.
The Rise of "Video-Only" Cultures
Some companies have leaned into this hard. They demand that you call me on video for every single sync-up, claiming it builds "culture" or "transparency." But does it? A study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology suggested that camera-on requirements actually lead to lower engagement and higher exhaustion, especially for women and newer employees who feel more pressure to maintain a "professional" appearance.
If you’re working from a studio apartment, "call me on video" isn't just a request for a chat. It’s an invitation into your private space. It’s an invasion. You have to worry about the laundry pile in the background or the cat jumping on the keyboard. It turns a simple exchange of information into a theatrical production.
When Video Actually Makes Sense (and When It Doesn't)
Look, I’m not saying we should go back to carrier pigeons. Video is amazing for specific things. If you’re a doctor performing a telehealth visit, seeing the patient is kind of the whole point. If you’re a grandparent seeing a toddler’s first steps from across the country, that’s a miracle of modern science.
But for a status update on a spreadsheet?
Absolutely not.
The Three-Question Filter
Before you ask someone to call me on video, you should probably ask yourself these three things:
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- Is there a visual component? If you need to show a physical prototype or walk through a complex UI, video is the winner.
- Is the topic emotionally charged? Bad news or complex feedback is usually better handled when you can see facial expressions, even if they are slightly delayed.
- Are we building a new relationship? First-time meetings benefit from the "human" element of seeing a face.
If the answer to all three is "no," just pick up the phone. Or better yet, send an email.
The "Call Me On Video" Tech Stack is Improving
Technically, we are getting better at this. Apple’s "Eye Contact" feature uses AI to digitally warp your pupils so it looks like you’re staring at the camera when you’re actually looking at the screen. It’s a bit uncanny valley, but it helps. Companies like NVIDIA are using "Maxine" to reconstruct faces in real-time, which can fix lighting issues or even make it look like you’re facing the camera when you’re looking away to take notes.
Then there’s the hardware. Most laptop webcams are garbage. They use tiny sensors that struggle in anything but studio lighting. If you’re someone who constantly hears "call me on video," investing in a dedicated 1080p or 4K webcam with a larger sensor—like those from Logitech or Razer—makes a massive difference. You look less like a grainy hostage video and more like a human being.
Navigating the Social Etiquette of the Camera
There’s a power dynamic at play here too. If a CEO says "call me on video," the intern isn't going to say no. But we should probably start normalizing the "Camera-Off" default.
Honestly, the most productive meetings I've had lately are the ones where everyone stays on audio. You can pace around the room. You can look out the window. You can actually think instead of worrying about whether your hair looks flat or if your background blur is flickering around your ears.
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If you do have to be on camera, here’s a pro tip: hide your self-view. Most platforms like Zoom or Teams allow you to right-click your own video and hide it from your own screen. You’re still visible to them, but you stop obsessing over your own face. It’s a game changer for reducing that mental load.
Setting Boundaries Without Being a Jerk
How do you tell someone "no" when they ask you to call me on video? It’s awkward, but it’s necessary for your sanity.
- The "Technical" Excuse: "My bandwidth is a bit shaky today, I'm going to stay on audio to make sure I don't drop the call."
- The "Focus" Excuse: "I've found I focus much better on what you're saying when I'm not staring at a screen. Mind if we do audio today?"
- The "Environment" Excuse: "I’m in a shared space right now and it’s a bit of a mess, let's stick to the phone."
Most people will actually be relieved. They’re probably sitting there hoping you won't turn your camera on either.
The Future of the Video Call
We are moving toward more immersive stuff. Meta is pushing "Codec Avatars" which are hyper-realistic 3D versions of ourselves that track our movements in VR. It sounds cool, but it also sounds like a lot of work. Do I really want to put on a headset just to tell you that the project is running two days late? Probably not.
The trend for 2026 is actually moving back toward "intentional" communication. We’re starting to realize that being "always on" isn't sustainable. The novelty of video has worn off. We’re entering an era where the choice of medium—text, voice, video, or in-person—is a deliberate decision based on the goal of the conversation, not just the default because the button is there.
Actionable Steps for Better Video Experiences
If you find yourself frequently asking people to "call me on video," or if you're the one receiving the requests, here is how to make it suck less:
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- Check your lighting first. Stop sitting with a window behind you. You’ll look like a silhouette in a witness protection program. Light should hit your face from the front.
- Invest in audio. People will tolerate a bad video feed, but they will absolutely hate you if your audio is echoing or sounds like you're underwater. A $50 USB microphone beats a $200 webcam every time.
- Set a "Video Optional" policy. If you run a team, make it clear that cameras are not mandatory. You will see a spike in productivity and a decrease in burnout.
- Shorten the duration. A 30-minute video call feels like an hour-long phone call. If you must use video, keep it to 15 or 20 minutes.
- Use the "Phone Walk." If a call doesn't require a screen share, take it on your mobile phone while walking outside. It changes the entire energy of the conversation.
We don't need to see each other every time we speak. Sometimes, the most professional thing you can do is leave the camera off and just listen.
The next time someone says "call me on video," take a second. Evaluate if it’s actually needed. If it isn't, be the person who suggests a plain old phone call. Your brain—and your colleagues—will thank you for it.