You’re staring at a blinking cursor, wondering if you should be polite to a bunch of math. It feels weird. You type "Hey, can you help me with this spreadsheet?" and then pause before adding a "please." We’ve all been there. It’s that split-second hesitation where you wonder if you’re being a productive user or just a crazy person talking to a toaster.
The debate over ChatGPT thank you and please usage isn't just about being a nice person. Honestly, it’s about how these Large Language Models (LLMs) were built. They weren't raised in a vacuum; they were raised on us. Every Reddit thread, digitized book, and Wikipedia entry used to train GPT-4 or Claude 3.5 is soaked in human social norms. When you use "please," you aren't just being polite to a server in a data center. You’re actually shifting the "latent space" of the model toward more helpful, professional, and descriptive data patterns.
The Science of Prompt Engineering and Politeness
Does the AI have feelings? No. Not even a little bit. But does it respond differently when you’re nice? Surprisingly, yes. Researchers have actually looked into this. A study titled "Should We Be Polite to LLMs?" explored how different levels of politeness impacted performance across various tasks. Interestingly, the researchers found that while extreme flattery didn't necessarily help, basic courtesy often aligned the model with better quality training data.
🔗 Read more: Why Pictures of Stars and Space Often Look Different Than the Real Thing
Think about it this way. In the massive ocean of human text, where do we see the word "please"? Usually in requests directed at experts, teachers, or helpful assistants. Where do we see aggressive, rude, or blunt language? Often in arguments, low-effort forum posts, or toxic comments. By using ChatGPT thank you and please, you are essentially nudging the AI to look at the "Expert Assistant" part of its brain rather than the "Internet Troll" part.
It’s about context.
If you treat the AI like a servant you’re yelling at, it might still give you an answer. But that answer might be shorter, more clinical, or even lazier. If you treat it like a collaborator, you’re tapping into a specific subset of its training data that is characterized by thoroughness and clarity. It’s a psychological hack, not for the AI, but for the statistical probability of the next word it chooses to generate.
What Happens When You're Rude?
Some people go the other way. They think being "alpha" with the AI gets better results. "Do this now. No fluff. Just the facts."
It’s a valid strategy for speed. But there's a risk of "negative steering." If your prompt is too aggressive, the model might interpret the persona it needs to adopt as something equally cold or restricted. You might lose the nuance.
Microsoft researchers and independent prompt engineers have noted that "jailbreaking" attempts often involve being very pushy. This can trigger the AI's safety filters more easily. On the flip side, a gentle "Could you please explain this as if I’m a beginner?" sets a tone that the model understands perfectly. It knows what a "kind teacher" sounds like. It mimics that.
📖 Related: Porn Sites With No Age Verification: Why the Legal Loophole is Closing So Fast
Emotional Stimuli and Performance
Here’s a weird fact: telling an AI "this is very important for my career" or "take a deep breath" can actually improve its math scores. This isn't magic. It's because the training data shows that when humans say "this is important," they usually follow it with high-quality work or expect high-quality results.
Using ChatGPT thank you and please acts as a similar, albeit softer, emotional stimulus. It signals a "high-stakes" or "high-value" social interaction. While a "thank you" at the end of a session doesn't change the answer you already got, it sets a positive conversational history for the next prompt in that same thread. LLMs have a "context window." They remember the vibe of the conversation. If the vibe is "collaborative and polite," the AI stays in that mode.
The Human Factor: Why We Can’t Help It
We anthropomorphize everything. We give names to our cars and apologize to the chair we just tripped over. It's how our brains are wired. If you spend eight hours a day interacting with a highly intelligent-sounding entity, your brain starts to categorize it as a "social agent."
Stopping yourself from saying "please" actually takes more cognitive effort for some people than just saying it. If being polite makes your workflow feel more natural, then do it. Efficiency isn't just about the number of characters you type; it’s about the mental friction you remove from your day.
- Habit preservation: If you start being a jerk to ChatGPT, those habits might bleed into your Slack messages to coworkers.
- The "Social Agent" effect: Studies show that humans who treat AI with respect often report higher satisfaction with the tool.
- Testing limits: Sometimes, seeing how the AI handles "gratitude" can reveal how well it understands nuance.
There is also the "future-proofing" argument. It’s a bit of a joke in the tech community, but some say, "I’m being nice so the robots spare me during the uprising." While that’s mostly a meme, the underlying sentiment is real: our interactions with AI are a reflection of our own character.
Is It a Waste of Tokens?
Every word you send to an AI costs "tokens." In a massive prompt, adding "please" and "thank you" uses up a tiny bit of your limit. For 99% of users, this doesn't matter. We're talking about a fraction of a cent in compute power.
However, if you are building a complex API integration where every token costs money and you're processing millions of requests, then yeah, cut the fluff. The AI doesn't need a "Good morning, dear AI" to function. But for the average person using the web interface, the "token cost" of being a decent human is basically zero.
Better Ways to Be "Polite" Without Being Wordy
If you want the benefits of a polite "vibe" without typing a novel, you can blend manners with clear instructions. This is the sweet spot of prompt engineering.
Instead of: "Write me a report."
Try: "Please write a detailed report on X. I’d really appreciate it if you could focus on the financial aspects."
Instead of: "Thanks."
Try: "Thanks, that was great. Now, can you expand on point three?"
By linking your "thank you" to a specific piece of feedback, you’re actually doing something useful. You’re telling the model that it’s on the right track. This "positive reinforcement" in the conversation window helps the AI stay focused on the style you liked. It’s functional gratitude.
Actionable Insights for Your Next Chat
If you want to get the absolute best out of your AI interactions while keeping your soul intact, follow these non-robotic rules.
First, don't overthink it. If it feels natural to say please, say it. It won't hurt the output, and it might actually help by steering the model toward helpful, "assistant-style" data.
📖 Related: Carbon Valence Electrons: Why This Single Number Makes Life Possible
Second, use manners as markers. A "thank you" is a great way to signal the end of one thought and the beginning of a follow-up. It acts as a cognitive bridge for both you and the model's context window.
Third, prioritize clarity over courtesy. Being polite is fine, but being vague is a sin. A polite, vague prompt is worse than a rude, specific one. "Please do a good job" is useless. "Please analyze this 10-K filing and summarize the debt-to-equity ratio in a table" is golden.
Finally, watch your tone in long threads. If the AI starts getting "loopy" or making mistakes, sometimes a quick "You're doing great, but let's pivot and try a different approach" works wonders. It’s the "sandwich method" of feedback—praise, critique, praise—and it works on machines just as well as it works on interns.
Treat the AI like a very smart, very literal intern. You wouldn't bark orders at an intern if you wanted their best work, would you? You’d be clear, you’d be firm, and you’d probably say please.
Stop worrying if it’s "silly" to be nice to a computer. If it helps you get a better result and keeps your human social skills sharp, it’s a win-win. Just don't expect it to invite you to its birthday party. It doesn't have one.