You know that feeling when a song starts playing and your brain immediately switches to a very specific, slightly frantic wavelength? That’s the "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)" effect. Specifically, the version by They Might Be Giants. It’s chaotic. It’s educational in a "don’t cite this in a history paper" kind of way. And honestly, it is one of the most memorable tracks ever to grace the Just Dance franchise.
If you’ve spent any time clutching a Wii Remote or a Joy-Con, you’ve probably sweated through this one. It first appeared in Just Dance 4, which, if we’re being real, was probably the peak era for the series. It wasn't just about the pop hits. It was about the weird stuff. The Four Lads originally sang it in 1953, but the 1990 cover by They Might Be Giants turned it into a geek-rock anthem. When Ubisoft decided to put it in a dancing game, they didn't go for a standard disco vibe. They went full desert-chic-meets-circus-energy.
It’s a frantic 202 BPM (beats per minute) madness. Most players don't realize how fast that actually is until their arms start flailing.
The Choreography Is Kind of a Fever Dream
Let's talk about the Coach. In Just Dance 4, the dancer for "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)" is this mustachioed guy wearing a fez, a vest, and baggy trousers. He looks like he wandered out of a vintage travel poster for the Ottoman Empire. But the movement? It’s pure vaudeville.
The routine is labeled as "Hard" for a reason. It isn't because the moves are technically impossible—you aren't doing backflips—but the sheer speed of the transitions is brutal. You’re doing these wide arm swings, then suddenly you’re mimicking a walking motion while staying in place, all while the background shifts through vibrant, psychedelic patterns of ancient architecture and modern cityscapes.
It’s the "Mashup" versions that really broke people, though. Back in the day, Just Dance loved to mix and match moves from different songs. Seeing the Istanbul coach doing moves from Call Me Maybe or Super Bass was a specific kind of gaming surrealism that we just don't see as much in the newer, more polished entries like Just Dance 2024 or 2025.
Why This Specific Map Still Ranks So High
Why do people keep coming back to it? Why is it a staple on Just Dance Unlimited and Just Dance+ years later?
It’s the personality.
A lot of modern Just Dance tracks feel a bit... corporate. They’re high-definition, sure. The rotoscoping is perfect. But they lack that "What on earth am I looking at?" factor that defined the early 2010s games. Istanbul (Not Constantinople) represents an era where Ubisoft was willing to be deeply uncool to be cool. It’s a novelty song. It shouldn't work as a workout, but after three minutes of those repetitive "Constantinople!" arm-pumps, your heart rate is hitting the ceiling.
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There’s also the nostalgia factor. For a generation of players, this was their introduction to They Might Be Giants. It’s a weirdly educational song about the renaming of a city (even if the lyrics basically say "it's nobody's business but the Turks"), wrapped in a layer of sweat and neon colors.
The Technical Weirdness of the Scored Moves
If you’re hunting for a "Megastar" or "Supersonic" rank on this track, you’ve likely noticed the tracking is a bit finicky. Because the song is so fast, the game’s accelerometers—especially on the older Wii hardware—sometimes struggled to keep up with the hand flicks.
Basically, you have to be snappy. If you’re lazy with the "even Old New York" section, the game will punish you with a "Good" instead of a "Perfect." You have to commit to the bit. You have to dance like you’re actually trying to explain 15th-century geopolitics through the medium of jazz hands.
Comparing the Versions: JD4 vs. The World
While Just Dance 4 gave us the iconic version, the song has lived a long life in the ecosystem.
- The Original JD4 Map: The gold standard. The lighting is slightly warm, the colors are saturated, and the energy is peak "party game."
- Just Dance Now: If you've played this on your phone using it as a controller, you know the pain. Lag is the enemy of 202 BPM.
- The Puppet Version: There was a "Puppet" alternate mode where two players controlled one dancer. It was a nightmare. A beautiful, hilarious nightmare.
Honestly, the Puppet Master mode was one of the most underrated features Ubisoft ever cut. One player controlled the arms, the other controlled the legs. Trying to coordinate Istanbul in that mode usually ended with someone getting hit in the face with a controller.
The Historical Context (The Real Version)
Believe it or not, the song is actually based on a real thing. Obviously.
Constantinople was renamed Istanbul officially in 1930. The song was written decades later to poke fun at how people struggle with the change. Jimmy Kennedy and Nat Simon wrote it, and while the Just Dance version is the TMBG cover, the DNA of the song is old-school Tin Pan Alley pop.
When you’re playing the game, you’re participating in a weird lineage of 1950s songwriting, 1990s alternative rock, and 2010s motion-control gaming. That’s a lot of layers for a song that most people use as a "funny warm-up" before trying to dance to Lady Gaga.
How to Actually Get a High Score
Stop trying to be graceful. Seriously.
The secret to mastering Istanbul (Not Constantinople) in Just Dance is tension. You need to keep your muscles tight because the changes in direction happen almost instantly. If your arms are "noodly," the motion sensors (especially the Joy-Cons) won't pick up the sharp stop-and-start movements required for the chorus.
Focus on the "No" gestures. When the lyrics hit the "No, you can't go back to Constantinople" part, the hand motions need to be incredibly distinct. Treat it like you're scolding a child. That's the level of authority the game expects from your right hand.
Also, watch the background. The visual cues in the environment often pulse in time with the "Gold Moves." If you’re getting distracted by the spinning buildings, you’re going to miss the big point-earners.
Is it the best song in the series?
Probably not "the best" if you're looking for high-level choreography. But is it the most Just Dance song? Absolutely. It’s the bridge between the "exercise" games of the 2000s and the "spectacle" games of the 2020s. It’s goofy, it’s fast, and it’s genuinely difficult to do without laughing.
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If you’re looking to improve your performance or just want to revisit a classic, here is how you should approach your next session with the Fez-wearing legend.
- Warm up your wrists. The flicking motions in the verses are a one-way ticket to a repetitive strain injury if you go in cold.
- Space is key. This routine has several wide-arm "clock" motions. If you’re playing in a cramped apartment, you will knock over a lamp.
- Ignore the lyrics. If you try to sing along while dancing at 202 BPM, you will run out of oxygen. Pick one: the dance or the history lesson.
Mastering the "Gold Moves"
There are two major Gold Moves in this track that usually make or break a high score. The first one happens during the bridge. It's a dramatic pose that requires you to be perfectly still before hitting a sharp angle. Most people fail this because they’re still vibrating from the previous section.
The second Gold Move is toward the end. It's the "Final Pose." It seems easy, but if you haven't been keeping up with the tempo, your timing will be off by just a fraction of a second. In Just Dance, a fraction of a second is the difference between a 12,000-point score and a 10,500-point disappointment.
Actionable Tips for Your Next Session
If you want to dominate this track on Just Dance+ or dig out your old Wii U for a nostalgia trip, follow this plan.
- Switch to a "Small" Controller: If you have the choice, use a Joy-Con over a phone. The weight distribution makes the fast shakes much easier to register.
- Watch the "Pictograms": The little scrolling icons at the bottom are actually more helpful than the dancer for this specific song because the Coach's clothing can sometimes obscure the exact angle of his hands.
- Practice the "Walking" Step: There's a recurring shuffle where the Coach moves his feet rapidly while keeping his upper body mostly still. Nailing the rhythm of this step allows you to focus all your energy on the scored hand movements.
- Check the "Sweat Mode" Stats: This is secretly one of the best cardio tracks in the game. Turn on the Kcal counter and see for yourself. Two rounds of Istanbul back-to-back is roughly equivalent to a high-intensity sprint.
Stop treating it like a joke song. It’s a technical challenge disguised as a cartoon. Once you respect the BPM, the Megastar rank becomes much easier to grab. Grab a fez if you have to. It helps with the immersion. Or don't. Just make sure you don't call it Constantinople. That's nobody's business but the Turks.