Definitely Not Fried Chicken: Why This Weird Business Sim Is Actually Genius

Definitely Not Fried Chicken: Why This Weird Business Sim Is Actually Genius

You’ve seen the aesthetic before. Neon signs, sun-drenched streets, and a vibe that screams 1980s synthwave. But then you look closer at the storefront. It’s a laundromat. Or maybe a donut shop. Or, quite famously, a chicken joint. On the surface, it’s all legitimate business. Underneath? Well, that’s where the "Definitely Not" part comes in. Definitely Not Fried Chicken is a management sim that asks a very specific, slightly dark question: can you run a massive narcotics empire while pretending to sell the best crispy thighs in town?

It’s addictive. It’s stressful. It is, honestly, one of the most mechanically dense indie sims to hit the market in recent years.

Developed by Dope Games and published by Merge Games, this title leans heavily into the Breaking Bad fantasy. But don’t let the bright, voxel art style fool you. This isn’t a casual mobile game where you click a button and collect cash. It’s a logistical nightmare in the best possible way. You aren't just a kingpin; you're a plumber, an architect, a human resources manager, and a frustrated shift supervisor.

The Dual-Reality Grind of Definitely Not Fried Chicken

The core loop is a split-brain exercise. On one side of the screen, you’re designing a highly efficient production facility. You need dirt. You need lights. You need irrigation. You’re growing plants, processing them, and boxing them up. On the other side, you’re managing a front.

The front is where the "Fried Chicken" happens.

If you just build a drug lab in the middle of a field, you’re going to get caught. Fast. So, you build a legitimate business to mask the smell—literally and figuratively. You have to manage real customers who just want a bucket of wings. They don't know about the basement. If you run out of chicken, they get mad. If they get mad, they leave bad reviews. If you get bad reviews, the heat rises. It’s a delicate balance.

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Designing for Efficiency (and Sanity)

When you first start building your facility, you’ll probably make the mistake of making it look "nice." Stop that. Definitely Not Fried Chicken rewards cold, hard efficiency. Your workers are voxel-based humans with very limited patience and even more limited bladders.

Think about the walk distances. If your worker has to walk across a 50-tile warehouse just to find a toilet, they aren't working. If they aren't working, the plants die. If the plants die, you’re broke. I’ve spent hours just reconfiguring hallways to make sure my "chemists" could get to the breakroom and back in under thirty seconds. It’s basically The Sims, but if the Goth family was moving weight for a cartel.

You have to manage:

  • Power grids (don't blow the fuse, or the hydroponics go dark)
  • Staff schedules (overworked staff get "stressed," and stressed staff make mistakes)
  • Room temperatures
  • Hygiene stations

It gets complicated. Quickly.

Dealing with the Heat and the Competition

Success breeds attention. In the world of Definitely Not Fried Chicken, that attention usually comes in the form of the police or rival gangs. You start in a small, run-down building. As you expand into new territories—moving from the toasted crust of the local neighborhood into the heart of the city—you encounter "Major Businesses."

These are your competitors. They aren't happy you’re moving in on their turf.

You’ll need to hire guards. You’ll need to arm them. But here’s the kicker: if you turn your fried chicken shop into a fortress with guys carrying Uzis in the lobby, the cops are going to notice. You have to hide your security. You have to keep the "legitimate" side of the business looking squeaky clean while the backroom looks like a scene from Scarface.

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The game uses a "Heat" system. It’s not just a meter that goes up. It’s nuanced. Different actions trigger different types of scrutiny. Selling too much product too fast? Heat. A body found behind the dumpster? Massive heat. You have to learn when to pivot. Sometimes, you need to stop production entirely and just focus on selling actual donuts for a few days to let things cool down.

Why the Voxel Art Style Actually Works

A lot of people dismissed this game early on because of the voxel look. It looks "kinda like Roblox," some critics said. They were wrong.

The art style is a deliberate choice that creates a "disarming" effect. The juxtaposition of cute, blocky characters doing objectively terrible things creates a dark humor that defines the experience. It makes the micromanagement feel less like a chore and more like a diorama you’re tinkering with. Plus, from a technical standpoint, it allows for a massive amount of customization. You can tear down walls, move fryers, and redesign your entire lab layout in seconds.

It’s satisfying. Watching your little voxel employees scurry around, efficiently packing boxes and mopping floors, provides a weird sense of Zen. Until a rival gang shows up and starts shooting the place up. Then the Zen goes out the window.

The Problem with Success

The biggest hurdle in Definitely Not Fried Chicken isn't actually the police. It’s the UI and the sheer scale of the late game. Once you have three or four "front" businesses and a massive central production hub, managing the logistics becomes a full-time job.

You’ll find yourself wishing for better automation tools. Currently, the game requires a lot of manual "nudging." You’ll notice a delivery truck is stuck because a worker decided to take a nap in the driveway. Or a fryer caught fire because you forgot to assign a janitor to that specific zone. It’s a "plate-spinning" simulator. If you love that feeling of being perpetually five seconds away from a total meltdown, you’ll love this. If you want a "set it and forget it" idle game, stay far away.

Real-World Comparisons and Influences

It’s impossible to talk about this game without mentioning RimWorld or Prison Architect. It shares that DNA. The focus is on systems interacting with other systems.

For instance, the way the game handles "needs" is very reminiscent of The Sims. Your employees need to eat, sleep, and use the restroom. If you don't provide high-quality breakrooms, their productivity drops. If you pay them pennies, they might steal from you. It forces you to be a "good" boss to your "bad" employees.

There's also a clear nod to the management style of Theme Hospital (or Two Point Hospital). There’s a certain absurdity to the way problems are presented. One moment you’re worrying about the purity of your latest batch of "product," and the next you’re stressed because the chicken fryer is broken and a customer is yelling about their spicy wings.

The progression system is gated by "Unlock Points." You get these by satisfying the demands of various "Major Businesses" or by reaching certain milestones in your illegal trade.

You don't just get the best stuff immediately. You have to earn the right to sell higher-tier drugs. You start with basic "toasted" goods and eventually move up to much more lucrative, and dangerous, substances. Each new tier requires new machinery, more power, and more specialized staff. It keeps the game from feeling stagnant. Just when you think you’ve mastered the chicken shop/marijuana combo, the game hands you a laundry mat and tells you to start producing meth.

Getting Started: A Checklist for New Kingpins

If you're jumping in for the first time, don't try to be Gus Fring in the first twenty minutes. You will fail. You will go bankrupt. The bank will seize your fryers.

  1. Start Small. Build the smallest possible lab and the smallest possible shop. Over-expanding too early is the #1 cause of "save file death."
  2. Toilets Matter. Put a toilet near every work station. I’m serious. The time saved on walking is the difference between profit and loss.
  3. The "Front" is a Shield. Don't treat your chicken shop as an afterthought. It is your legal protection. Keep it clean, keep it staffed, and keep the customers happy.
  4. Watch the Power. Before you buy that shiny new packing machine, check your circuit breakers. Blackouts in the middle of a police inspection are... bad.
  5. Manual Saves are Your Friend. The game can be buggy. Sometimes a worker gets stuck in a wall. Sometimes a delivery truck disappears. Save often.

Is It Worth the Grind?

Definitely Not Fried Chicken is a niche game. It’s for the person who loves spreadsheets but wishes those spreadsheets had more crime. It’s for the player who enjoys the "logistics" part of Factorio but wants a more human (and illicit) element.

It isn't perfect. The pathfinding can be wonky. The UI can feel cluttered when you’re managing multiple sites. But the heart of the game—that tension between being a legitimate business owner and a drug lord—is executed brilliantly. It captures a specific subgenre of management sims that focuses on "the cover story" as much as the actual goal.

You aren't just building a factory. You're building a lie. And in this game, keeping that lie alive is the most fun you can have with a voxel chicken leg.

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Your Next Steps in the Underworld

Ready to start your empire? Your first move should be focusing on the Laundromat. It’s the easiest front to manage early on. Unlike the chicken shop, people don't get as angry if their clothes take an extra minute, and the "waste" management is simpler.

Once you’ve stabilized your cash flow with a few washing machines, then—and only then—should you look into the "Fried Chicken" expansion. It’s higher risk, higher reward, and a lot more grease. Keep your floors clean, your workers fed, and your secret basement hidden. The city is waiting for its "chicken."

Don't let the cops find the seeds. Good luck.